"THIS IS KELLY GLITTER MONSTER EXTRAORDINAIRE"
currently awaiting a reply.
i say “fight me” a lot for a girl who is 5”3’ and has a hard time opening some doors because they’re too heavy
* 5’4”, trips up stairs, sometimes can’t open jars. (I’m still intimidating tho right guise?)
YES TO ALL THE GLITTER YES
Made nom blueberry chocolate chip oatmeal pancakes
Wore excellently comfy plaid all day
Cleaned my desk (bye tiny glorious glitter Christmas tree)
Vacuumed and swept our floors
Folded all my laundry
Cleaned my room
Made our rugs shiny and glitter-free again
Hand washed high-maintenance work clothes
Pep talked my poor roomie about the LA marathon
Finally got groceries
And had this exchange with a dude at Trader Joe’s in the meat aisle:
“You need any help?”
“Nope nope just looking…I don’t really cook meat that often”
“Ahh so you’re buying for your boyfriend?”
(burst out laughing) “Yeah sure, shit… I just got called out”
Dude proceeds to give me all the meat recommendations in the world.
"What does your boyfriend like?" (uh. he’s not I don’t really know what this is it might not be a thing very soon why am I still standing in front of the meat time to leave)
Picked up ingredients for care packages (!)
And made hella guac.
filed under: this has been a post. and can’t believe the TJ’s dude read me that well.
"There’s a level of human decency required, no matter what. And you are not a bottom-tier person, so it’s definitely not okay.”
- AG, allaying the twisted thoughts in my brain and explaining some incontrovertible truths that I needed to hear
filed under: this only makes entire sense in context
Just because someone desires you, it does not mean that they value you.
Read it over.
Let those words resonate in your mind.
[There is a] general principle of internet language these days that the more overwhelmed with emotions you are, the less sensical your sentence structure gets, which I’ve described elsewhere as “stylized verbal incoherence mirroring emotional incoherence” and which leads us to expressions like “feels,” “I can’t even/I’ve lost the ability to can,” and “because reasons.”
Contrast this with first-generation internet language, demonstrated by LOLcat or 1337speak, and in general characterized by abbreviations containing numbers and single letters, often in caps (C U L8R), smilies containing noses, and words containing deliberate misspellings.
We’ve now moved on: broadly speaking, second-generation internet language plays with grammar instead of spelling. If you’re a doomsayer, the innovative syntax is one more thing to throw up your hands about, but compared to a decade or two ago, the spelling has gotten shockingly conventional.
In this sense, doge really is the next generation of LOLcat, in terms of a pet-based snapshot of a certain era in internet language. We’ve kept the idea that animals speak like an exaggerated version of an internet-savvy human, but as our definitions of what it means to be a human on the internet have changed, so too have the voices that we give our animals. Wow.
You’re not clever for getting your information off Twitter and quipping away. If you’re victim-blaming, you can sit right down and shut right up until you exhibit signs of basic humanity…